The first thing I did when I got my computer back the other night was look at videos of the boys as babies. (Let me just tell you that it is a good thing we got fixed. I would have another tomorrow.) I was in awe at how tiny the boys were and how much they have changed. As much as I tried to savor every moment it flew by and I honestly don't remember all that much. I was warned that would happen but I tried so hard to remember it all!
In one of the videos I heard a baby voice and the camera panned to a chubby little toddler and my heart lurched because it was Baby. She was still such a chubby toddler when they were born (3 and a half) and I feel like I missed a year of her life. Obviously, I have been here but I can't tell you the moment she transitioned into the big girl she is now. That makes me feel sad and guilty.
She has been such a trooper this last year. She is a huge help to me and loves to have Buddy as her partner in crime. Every morning when I take a shower she participates in "Brother Sister time" (which of course I announce in a catchy little song). I put the boys in their cribs and she entertains them by dancing, singing, having a virtual picnic or whatever makes the boys happy. She really is a good big sister.
One thing I have noticed lately about my girl is her quirkiness. I feel like she sees things in a very unique way. Boogie will sometimes remind me "Mom, Baby just says things differently but this is what she means". For example, the other day she had one foot on the swingset and the other on one of the swings and she called out "Mom! Look at me! I'm doing it but my body is all movey" (She was shaking a little because the swing was moving).
She also notices details that might escape some. After spending some time outside with bubbles she came in all excited and said "Mom! The bubbles have rainbow color all over them!" I like to think it is her artistic side and that perhaps my Baby will be an artist. I just need to help her find her medium.
For the record, I LOVE her quirks and call her "odd" in the fondest way possible. She brings a different perspective to the family and I like that.
I'm going to try to let my guilt from missing her transition go and intentionally savor this new phase. Time really does fly by way to quickly.