2/15/12

Today Stinks

Things have been progressing along pretty smoothly around here.  I rarely have the 5 oclock mean mommy meltdown and unless I am reading something online the tears are few and far between.  Today I set my record back to zero.

It started with Bunny's OT evaluation this morning.  I feel like he is even further behind than I realized and that makes me feel like I have failed him. It's okay with me if he is behind because of his own genetic makeup but not if I feel like I have not been working hard enough with him.  We started out in a good routine of getting all our exercises in and then the sicknesses and the mobility (Buddy)  hit us and I'm lucky to get 3 a day in.  So today I felt like a failure.

On top of that scheduling appointments completely stresses me out because it means I need to find childcare for at least Baby.  I don't have a long list of help and I feel guilty asking people to help me when I can't offer anything in return.  We don't have the money to hire anyone to help.  It makes me feel helpless and I hate that.

The breaking point was realizing that I had to tell Baby that we can't go to her field trip tomorrow, lunch with the queen, because I have no one to watch the babies (siblings are not allowed).  She was so sad and it broke my heart.  She told me "My teacher will be so mad at you and will tell me to get a new mom who says yes to field trips".  That was fun to hear.

I know this is a season and I know I am feeling sorry for myself but today just plain stinks.

6 comments:

  1. Oh Sharla...I've been there! It does stink when all of those things hit you all at once. Please remember that you are just 1 person trying to meet the demanding needs of 4 people, not to mention yourself. OT evaluations are designed to find his gaps. It is not a reflection of the job you've done. It's just where he is on his journey and hopefully there's some direction now for his treatment. I would also be happy to watch G (or the babies)when you are in a jam. Please add me to your list and don't think twice about calling me. You are doing an awesome job and are an inspiration to me!

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  2. I haven't even gotten the results yet I just know what she was wanting him to do and was seeing him not doing it. I know in my head it's not a reflection of me but you know how that goes :) Thank you for the encouragement!

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  3. *I* am your childcare!! And I don't even want anything in return ever! Until we move, we are here almost every single morning...literally. Praying for you <3

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  4. You have been amazing Brini! I don't know what I will do without you! :(

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  5. Sounds like a rough day. Sorry : ( You can only do so much. Your little one will get there.

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  6. And you have me! One of the perks of a firefighter hubby is having 2 adults around, so more kids isn't as hard over here. Please call!!!

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