When the boys napped the other day Baby and I made pancakes together. The minute I smelled the batter a whirlwind of emotions hit me and I almost started to cry. Scents are a big emotional trigger for me. I think the emotion was going back to that time when everything was uncertain for me.
We had just moved to a new town and I often felt lonely and isolated. Boogie had started school which was a nice break but a whole new world for us. I was pregnant with twins and I was scared out of my mind. Last year was hard for me.
This year is hard in a whole new way. I'm thinking next year when I smell the pancakes for the first time (If silly Trader Joes doesn't discontinue them. I hate it when they do that!) the word that might come to mind will be overwhelmed but in a happy way. I'll probably be wistful for the time that the babies were not walking. I'll remember making the pancakes while feeding little mouths sweet potatoes while overseeing homework while asking Baby why she is so quiet....etc etc.
It truly is amazing how much can change in a year!
***By the way, can I mention that I am the world's WORST pancake maker? Seriously...I make the ugliest pancakes! I seem to finally get the hang of it on the last set of pancakes which we always eat first so I have to stare at the ugly ones longer! I am missing the perfect pancake gene!